Monday night spent coughing all night. Tuesday morning I go to the Doctor. I'm mortified about going to the doctor with a lousy cough, but explain I'm supposed to be swimming the Channel in 5 weeks. I've got to get better and I need his help. I'm told I've got bronchitis and given antibiotics and some inhaler thingy and told to get better. Christ. No swimming! Everyone is fantastically supportive at the same time as being very strict. I feel like I'm being scolded by my friends. I know they mean well - "NO SWIMMING SALLY!" but I'm miserable as sin. And being ill doesn't help me feel rational. And, I feel like someone has punched me in the diaphragm.
Wednesday I call Freda and have a chat. "What do you think about me not coming to Dover this weekend?". "I think you absolutely must not come". She tells me to relax, go to bed early, get up late. I know she's right. She reassures me that I can still catch up, this makes me feel a modicum happier. I take a couple of shifts off work. I cancel my B&B in Dover. I miss my training session on Wednesday, I miss my training session on Thursday. I feel like poking my eyes out with the frustration of it all. By Friday I feel slightly better.
Saturday and Sunday...
Spent at home. I remember this life now. It's something I used to do - seems like years ago. A friend calls me at home. I have time to call her back! I spend all day sitting in the house willing my lungs to start behaving as they should. I'm exceptionally good. I really do nothing. It's hell. Sunday I go to an art exhibition. Life outside training. But I long to be back doing something about my swim.
Sunday night the news filters to me about the Dover training sessions this weekend. Frank swims 8 hours on Saturday and 7 hours on Sunday in abysmal conditions. Fantastic. He's done so well. But it makes me more miserable, more frustrated, more twitchy than I was. I've got to be better by this weekend. I've got to.
I've got four weekends of training until my swim, including the coming one. If I really pull my finger out I can make up the ground and still have a weekend of resting and tapering before my swim. But it's cutting it fine. I'm so desperate to get back in to the training, and this weekend will be the first test to see if I'm back on form. Fingers crossed.